I caught Olivine sucking her thumb (just like Paul and me).

I went back to work mid-week rather than a full week – this was genuis!

While I now face my comp. exams, I am eager to wrap up this master’s program.

Joe caught a bee and was fascinated.

I wore my baby for hours after working all day and felt an instant calm.

This is what happens at home every morning after I leave:

I don’t know how I leave, but I do, and I always come back.

We sprawl on the floor

memorize the times for the diver shows 

gaze intentently at the tanks that we have seen a dozen times

introduce Olivine to some of our favorite friends

pose for pictures with the sea otter because he is so cute

affirmed after each visit that our membership at the aquarium is worth every penny

support your local museum.

I finished homework while Joe took the baby on a walk.

I panicked about going back to work later this week.

I listened as Paul rattled off pairs of rhyming words (his new favorite discovery).

I laughed at how busy and clumsy my boy Henry can be.

I bragged about my stay at home husband to classmates.

I cleaned the stove with serious “elbow grease” after Joe caught a pan on fire. 

I bought a kitchen timer for a dollar at where else but the Dollar Tree.

I traded baby swaddling stories with two other mommas.

I pumped enough milk to fill three 6 oz. bottles. 

An indoor, early morning egg hunt

involving mostly candy and a little money

before breakfast.

And an outdoor, afternoon egg hunt 

involving more candy and a few toys

before lunch.

While Olivine enjoyed stories about Japan while literally laying around most of the day.

I envy her relaxed, “make myself at home” attitude despite her surroundings. 

Henry eventually discovered that chasing grasshoppers 

possibly the beginning of a new tradition??

A feast of vegan Vietnamese food with friends.

There were four children who ate and then needed to run around outside.

The fifth child has no shame about eating and instantly passing out.

The sunset looked and felt a bit like summer…so warm.

Today when my Ji’chan handed me this egg I assumed there was candy inside.

Instead I found these two rings and golden crane.

All of which belonged to my Ba’chan and suddenly I am transported to my childhood.

I see her hand, chubby and wrinkled with the natural beauty of age. She always painted and filed her nails. The blue stone and golden nugget were both chunky pieces of jewelry that my little girl eyes adored. They represented being fancy and grown up.That’s what I remember thinking as a kid.

But today, in my hands, slid onto my fingers, the rings represent love. I am transported to memories of her cooking vegan dishes (just for me and Joe), carrying them to the table, passing us silverware, or watching her crochet, flip through her mail, talk on the phone, write a grocery list, and these very small moments that I shared with her countless times brings me to tears.

She is gone and I won’t touch or see her hands again. But somehow, with her rings on my fingers the memory comes in a little more clear. It is painful and comforting all in the same moment. Because much more than these rings, I would love for her to be here. To meet Olivine and Henry and Paul. She sits in our hearts while we gather on the porch, in the shade, and enjoy a glass of champagne. She is remembered and missed. 

The spot Ji’chan likes to hang out at his house when the weather is warm.

This morning the porch was used to test out the water guns he bought the boys.

He showed them how to fill them up with water

and told them to shoot at the plants.

Joe showed them how to drink from the guns (really??)

They were clearly entertained

and having fun.

Meanwhile Grammy fed Olivine with a bottle for the first time

and I took photos.

in a biblical sense for sure, 

but also in a practical, real-life way

that includes having friends over for play and lunch

taking a nap

making bubble beards

and wearing sunglasses in the bathtub.

It was definitely a good day!

to have such beautiful weather in April,

to have a Ji’chan that sends cards to each little boy for Easter

and includes money specifically to “go buy candy,”

and to have a baby that sleeps so peacefullyl while there is noise and life happening all around.

Out back this is what I found:

Papa getting ready for class with a quick rinse of his prized posession

and little boys imitating what they see with the same care and detail.

They are learning to take pride in their hard work.