Really Moving

I experienced some real heart break recently with wanting to move. I spent many hours from August through October talking to a home owner about renting her house, only to be disappointed. Without getting into all the details I will say the situation left me questioning my own motives. I wondered if I had suddenly made parking, laundry, and three bedrooms a much bigger deal than I needed it to be.

November was spent mostly being preoccupied with these thoughts. Or maybe I should call them second guesses and self-doubt. I left the boxes packed and refused to make a decision one way or another. Besides I had two birthdays to focus on (Paul and Henry) and a camping trip to plan.

Imagine my surprise when a friend texts me one week ago to say her tenants are moving out January 1. She knows my sadness, has three kids of her own, and offers me the house.

I flip out.

I haven’t stopped flipping out.

Ever since this offer I have texted my friend the most random questions.

Tonight we saw the house and signed the lease. Then came home to finish up our book and the last chapter is called “Going Out”
thumbnail_img_1472about the Ingalls family moving, once again. The beauty and the fear and the excitement of it all is captured so well in these pages.
Paul shouted from his top bunk, “That’s like us!” As the family looks back and realizes change is ahead.

God always has something better than expected. I am still learning how to be patient and obedient and faithful in these moments.

December, for Reals?

Two more months slipped by and my Aunt recently asked if this blog even existed anymore. The answer is “yes!” and I need to write more often. I keep myself sane on this blog by writing and thinking and reflecting. Which bring me to my favorite part of this blog with time passing, I have an opportunity to look back at my family with this space. This was a picture Joe recently found. Melts my heart :: these three guys. I guess I do like to dress them as twins!006_img_9679-x2Thankfully my dear friend Janet is photographing my family still, at least once a year for an annual Christmas card (that I swear is on its way to your mailbox). If you want her info I will pass it along. She is uh-maz-ing!

She does a great job at candid and posed shots. She always captures us. All five of us. I love this shot below from November. Henry jumping, Paul holding Luke, all of us holding hands looking toward to ocean and our future together. Wow. thumbnail__wp_0071-cr2Once again I am feeling blessed. So much to catch up on. I have four part-time jobs these days, all of which I love. I still have time to volunteer in the classroom or have breakfast with friends in the middle of the week. My eye is twitching for the fourth week now, but it is probably stress related. What stress you ask?? The potential move. Fingers crossed, my heart has already been broken once recently over a house. But if it all works out we are moving January One.
Break will be here in two to three weeks. We are gearing up right now in order to rest soon. Rather than continue to avoid this space, I came back for a brief hello on this Friday afternoon.

Or as I have been referring to it lately…Fri-yay!



September Already

This cloud speckled sky is my ode to summer that is fading fast. Besides an ocean view or a pool photo, I can’t think of any image that reminds me more of this past summer. We went to the beach, enjoyed book picnics, rode bikes, and played frisbee- all in the spirit of living in Southern California.

dsc_5014This year we have Olivine at the child development center, Henry in first grade, and Paul in third grade. I am teaching at the college and tutoring, with classes continuing on Wednesdays and Saturdays. My better half is at a new school with kinder and first grade. Henry has started soccer, Paul has started ukulele lessons, and as soon as I figure out when and what…Miss Olivine will join the crew for some dance, martial arts,  gymnastics or roller derby. Something all her own.

My summer highlight might have been Swim Lessons. Thank you Grammy for helping out. This year is marked by the investment of every one of my kids now knowing how to swim. Wow it is amazing. Bittersweet with no babies clinging to this momma, but fun!

I missed the entire month of August and without guilt because I was too busy outdoors. I hope to find my way back to this space as the seasons change.


After four weeks of swimming lessons this summer, the kids are all swimming. Olivine is jumping off diving boards, Henry is learning the breast stroke, and Paul is busy practicing the flip at the end of a lap to push off on the wall.DSC_5142That means Joe and I are free to be in or out of the water. The kids can be kids, while we relax.DSC_5145The recent heat wave means relief is found in the water, where children will play until they pass out.DSC_5014Joe and I am almost done with summer school. We have had dinners outdoors, days at the bay, and we are taking advantage of the increased hours of light.


When my mom asked if I felt older this week on my birthday. I suddenly recognized that isn’t necessarily older but I do feel more grounded. Which is about being aware, content, confident, and generally feeling like my feet are planted in place. I am living more in the moment. It is summer and by now I am typically already grieving its end. But these days I am less focused on what I am not doing, or missing, or wishing I could do better.

It helps that I have support. I have a husband and children that remind to think more of others and less of self. I have a mom, who is retired and living more of a life she wants as inspiration. I like my job (part-time) and being in school. I like learning. I like deadlines and reading and writing in research. I am introverted and unashamed, yet pushing myself regularly to socialize in groups that are not always easy.

This photo sums up what I love the most these days:

DSC_5165Open windows, late setting sun, children only wearing half of their pajamas, reading aloud, making up character voices for Tomie dePaola books, natural light, wide eyes around me, and no other plans. Bed time stretches out and the little ones fall asleep as their bodies get tired.

Thirty-seven is going to be an awesome year. I can feel it!

Confession over the Kitty

So Joe rescued this kitten at his school that was teeny, tiny. He fell in love and I went into a panic. He came home on a Friday and “ta-da” the kids fell in love. I refused to let myself get attached.DSC_4407They named her Rosebud…Rosie for short. I took Paul to baseball practice and insisted the kitty have a new home before I came back. It needed to be bottle fed every couple hours like a newborn. Yikes!DSC_4400I hated to see the kids love the kitty, and then have to be the one to insist on no pets. But we aren’t ready. I am not saying “never” because I think a pet can teach responsibility and nurturing. I am just saying “not yet.” And hopefully my kids won’t hold this against me.

Father’s Day 2016

We usually go camping and because a heat wave hit, I am so relieved we didn’t (We will Joe- I promise). With only one night to spare, we stayed over at the Queen Mary. Sort of surprising that we have never gone. It’s in our own backyard.

DSC_4965After opening presents and reading through cards, we packed up early and headed over.DSC_4973We wandered the decks, going higher and higher. The kids loved the slanting floor and the idea that this ship is docked. They really wanted it to set sail.DSC_4975We had two adjoining rooms and packed plenty of snacks. I assumed food on board wouldn’t be too bad, but really there wasn’t much for vegetarians. So we walked over to Hotel Maya.DSC_4992We enjoyed pineapple sangria and enchiladas and the open air. DSC_5000This was our expression when the waiter brought over extra drinks from a mistake at the bar. Free drinks!DSC_5042By the time the sunset, we popped open the tiny windows and peeked out for the view. We had the chance to watch the colors change and wave to folks on boats going by. A mini getaway to celebrate Joe… the papa, husband, best friend, and teacher who I love.


Recap :: June

The time has flown by and before the calendar changes to July, it feels like we were busy all month and we hardly snapped photos.

The boys went to their first game of the season.DSC_4736They had field passes and so went early to watch practice.DSC_4787Paul has become increasingly serious as he watches or listens to a game. He is keeping track of plays and names and all sorts of details that I still don’t understand.DSC_4793The Dodgers won and so these smiles are genuine.DSC_4911With a last minute haircut and new pants, this guy finished kindergarten. In honor of their last day, they both wore suits.DSC_4913Joe has one more week off before summer school begins. He moved all his stuff into storage for the new site he will be at in the fall.

Meanwhile, Henry is looking forward to school all day like Paul. He had practiced so hard for his final show, but then became super shy during the performance.DSC_4929This shot is from his favorite song about “growing in life’s garden” and being a flower that blooms. GetAttachmentThumbnailGrammy took him out to lunch after the show and yes, I cried. His teacher is the same one Paul had. I feel like time slipped away again and even though it makes me sad, I am also so happy for his experience with this past  year.DSC_4952And when he looks so grown up and I realize how much he has learned, yeah the tears are hard to stop.DSC_4953A new season is upon us in a big way. Summer. We have been waiting long enough!

June :: Hello you

Summer will soon be here. Before that happens baseball will wrap up (one more game this Saturday), I will give finals at LBCC, Joe will pack up and move his classroom to a new school (got his first choice!), and Olivine will start swim lessons while her brothers are still in school. Whew..that is only part of what we are looking forward to this month.DSC02859Strangely enough these shots of Los Angeles remind me I am a city girl in my heart. Joe and I both. I am practicing every day to be grateful for where I am. This can be hard when I cried with a student last night about the need to step away from community college while her mother is sick and her kids need attention. One week before finals. She has come so far. Yet, I completely understand. This is in stark contrast to the student I saw on Friday. She took my class three years ago and she dropped by to let me know she is graduating from city college next week. Those were different tears.DSC02857This sprawling set of freeways and constant cement contributes to our need to hike to a waterfall this past Sunday. We are not naive to the toll it takes. I know our family will need to go camping, lay in a hammock, and play with sticks. We also want to spend afternoons at the beach and evenings eating outdoors. Before then, we have a little more work and focus to crank out. Wish us luck, we are almost done with the school year.


We love cousins coming to visit us and playing at the park. So low key and mellow. Nothing but good times.DSC02882There was a theme of pairing upDSC02880and I was seeing double.DSC02881There was also a bit of wild fun for the whole bunch. Watching Mike was highly entertaining. Even kids not in the cousin circle wanted in on the fun. DSC02878Also the youngest can capture your full attention because she has feathery wispy hair and a twinkle in her eye. Oh, and painted nails. DSC02876Then these two eventually lost their shoes, needed juice boxes, and Ollie turned her hat backwards. That means they are staying put and digging their toes in the sand.
DSC02884Sunshine, tank tops, and leaving right before anyone fell apart.DSC02877We are getting good at the parenting and the parks and the play. High-five!