My grandma is a woman whose body no longer keeps up with speed of  her mind. We drove down to Oceanside to see her and welcome my cousin back to Cali (he’s been in Texas for years).I sat listening as she would call out “How Cute!” and hearing Olivine imitate her. We spent time talking about heart ache, because it is clear when you are as old as my grandma is that she has lost most of her friends and some of her family. She told me about her first born William, who she lost after five days. The heart break of loosing such a tiny, new face. She expressed the same sort of heavy sadness in talking about the passing of her grandparents. I sat their crying and realizing that the pain won’t necessarily every go away, entirely. She spoke openly and confidently about being ready to die. She is ready to greet those who she has missed so much.For now, she is surrounded by her great grandchildren. Or as my kids say “no, my gramma” and I say back “no, my gramma.”