Friday morning Olivine dressed up in her fancy skirt while I called in a substitute. We drove down to my cousin’s boat.
This whole week had been stormy and I nervously expected choppy water. I feared Olivine or I getting seasick. Would we? What would we do?
Of course, we didn’t. The water was calm. I had to strain my eyes to see the horizon. The clouds blended into the water, a perfect symbol of infinity. When we stopped and said good bye to my grandma, the emotions bubbled over. The sadness to not have my daughter know her, the longing to have said more, the ache of time passing, the weight of being an adult, and the strong urge to see the gates of heaven. 
The lyrics from a song I love filled my ears “When I get to heaven, I’ll be greeted warmly, surrounded by the angels, as Jesus takes my hand.” This is my comfort. As her ashes dissolve into the water, I am certain that the moment of closure is a gift.
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family notebook 
Dearest Kamisha,
I am saddened by the loss of your very much loved grandmother. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. If there is anything I can do please contact me as I will try my best to be there for you.
Thank you for sharing your family’s life moments with me. I enjoy and appreciate being able to be a part of your life experiences. Good or bad.
I wish I had words to console you but I am at a loss. I never met my father’s mother (passed when he was 8) and sadly I don’t consider my mothers mother worthy of the title “grandmother”.
I know she means a GREAT deal to you and your family. May you always cherish the time you spent with her as a child, young adult, and mother. I’m happy she got to know and fall in love with your children as she did with you.
My heart goes out to you and yours. May you find comfort in each other during this painful time.
Sending my love and prayers.
Martha
Sent from my Windows Phone ________________________________