Joe appropriately reminded me that “nothing lasts forever” as I struggled to pack it all. Part of me just wants to throw it all away, or sell it, or run for the hills.
The other part of me wants to reconsider staying in Room 3 where I know the kids, the families, the drama, the challenges… then I catch myself at this very point on the list. This is why I need to move on. I promised myself that I would stay as long as I was useful. It has taken sometime to admit that I have “hit a wall” in my career. Everyone’s burning question is “where will you be in the fall?” Their guess is as good as mine. I have hopes, ideas, and a few guesses but it’s not set in stone.
I am learning in these moments of chaos and overwhelming emotion to trust in God. To put one foot in front of the other. No leaps or bounds here, more like careful tip toeing or else I will loose my balance. At one point today I aloud said in exasperation and exhaustion “I need my mom.” Which translates to a “kick in the butt” because she can motivate me and provide the positive thinking required to get it done. She was at work and Joe wasn’t having any of it.
His father was a professional mover and he was having no complaining today. He kept moving even when I sat down for breaks. There was a job he came to do, and he was gonna get it done.
I left some of the book bins for the next teacher. Sort of a “pay it forward” gesture to whoever inherits this space and grade level. Also a reminder that “I can’t take it all” which is a mentality hard to break after years of accumulating. Disassembling the library took place in waves, I sorted through many books and was reminded of all the places and people who helped put my library together over the years. I am sentimental, I admit it.
There is my hero who hung by me all day. He carried the last couple of loads, we took two trips, rented a storage unit, and another friend watched our rascals. This was an all day affair.
But we did it! Just the two of us!
And Olivine reminded me afterwards, what I so quickly had forgotten:
That it is time to party!
One more reason to celebrate.