Did you watch cartoons as a kid? I remember this slightly disappointing phrase at the end of the episode. It has been running through my mind as Spring Break ends. I had ten days off and guess how many of those days I was sick? three, five, seven nope: ten! And still counting. My fever is back today.

I am convinced it is related to declaring that my word for this year is to “Listen” and I really haven’t practiced it that well. A girl like me loves to talk and how else can I quiet myself?

I have been to the doctor’s twice, spent close to ten hours in the ER, had an IV, was definitely dehydrated, and misdiagnosed as having colon issues. I had a CT scan with iodine warming my insides, and all I could think of was the radiation. I had a fever every day and the most terrible pains inside. They are fairly certain I had a virus but the first round of medication worsened the situation. I am sparing you even more details of this illness. Let’s just say I have been wrecked.

This means facing true heart ache. I struggled with disappointment while laying around, doing nothing, as every single day of spring break slipped by. This meant canceled plans over and over. And wow, did my kids shine!

They were just happy to be. I did a lot of listening to my family.  I heard Paul teaching Henry the ins and outs of chess. I was impressed because I don’t have all the pieces memorized. I listened to the details of the camp out. Paul’s first sleep over ever and I missed it. Joe picked Henry up because he wasn’t entirely ready.

I listened to Henry write and draw a book about a cat, that evolved into tigers, and the drawings are the sweetest. I oversaw projects from the couch and listened to them really help one another.

Meanwhile Joe was the hero: cooking, cleaning, going to class, shuttling children, and wrapping up paperwork to substitute in Long Beach. He doesn’t favor multi-tasking or having to lead the whole show at home, but he does pretty darn well. So it was hard not to feel like I was sucking the life out of the week for everyone. But man, is it humbling. To not be able to feed, bathe, or care for my children and to depend on others. To stay positive in my prayers rather than bitter and frustrated. Believe me, tears were shed about deserving a spring break and wanting to go outdoors and needing this time with my family. I guess I really needed some time with myself. I have so much to wrestle and work out.

Olivine also wound up with another respiratory infection. Her and I were sick together for the first five days. But by now, she knows the medicine and procedures. Sure she pushes it away, but for the most part, she handles it. Luckily, we have a pediatrician who takes extra steps and is very helpful with running tests on Olivine.

And that is a wrap up of this household’s spring break.