birthday for cousin Makayla!
party at the Santa Ana Zoo.
time wearing these sandals this spring.family celebration after a week of sadness (and I look forward to more).
mango cake.
warm weather recently where I forgot sunscreen but remembered a sun hat. party favors that we instantly unwrapped and put to use (animal themed water bottles- so cool!).
snack table that I loved.
party without Joe (he is approaching finals week at school) but Grammy was there to help.
She took the boys on the carousel and the train ride.

one of many life lessons modeled for me by Ji’chan. In fact, the last meal with both of my grandparents was home cooked, served by them, in their home. A simple gesture of invaluable worth and this is how they spent so much of their lives. They served others.

So when I missed the art auction of my children last week, but had an opportunity to participate in a teacher’s appreciation dinner this week (either in helping in person or contributing money), I signed up.

My heart didn’t feel completely up to going but I signed up anyway, early in the week. I half heartedly dressed myself last night meditating on the excuses I could give to back out.

But by the time I got there, the dinner shift was wrapping up and I easily slipped into an anonymous role: wiping tables, emptying trash cans, serving drinks, cutting cake. The seventy plus teachers were lively and grateful. Multiple times over last night I met eyes with folks saying thank you, my response back was “no, thank you.” They serve all three of my kids, and many others tirelessly. 

But beyond that, they had given me a few hours to suspend my own worries and troubles to focus on others.

A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

I looked over this afternoon, while talking with a friend, and caught this little munchkin.

She is going to be like her brothers: brave and adventurous.
(It’s as if I can feel my hair already turning grey).

on the dawn of a new month, that as my heart searches for meaning and peace, I take comfort in the small beginnings like the sprouting of this plant.
Just like this plant has required very little, it has been your cards, phone calls, emails, hugs, and love nourishing my broken heart.

My boys (especially Henry) are climbers. I mean not just they themselves enjoy climbing, but the whole idea fascinates them. So tonight while finishing dinner, with the backdoor open, we saw a ladder being carried through the alley. The next moment, right outside, a man propped it against the telephone and started working on the wires.

Let’s just say dinner was quickly finished as they rushed outside to watch him finish and move onto the next pole, with wires strapped to his tool belt, while wearing a hard hat. They were thrilled and I am once again given a glimpse at life through their eyes, with a pause for a moment I might have otherwise overlooked. Tonight we lingered on the back steps and enjoyed the evening breeze.

as best we can with heavy hearts, but children make it easier to go through this grieving with their daily routines

and opening ourselves up to articulate answers to questions only little ones imagine in relation to death.

Their affection for one another reminds me that as one page ends, another begins

as life continues.

We will be taking many moments to say a word of thanks for our Ji’chan and the giving that continues

as the boys enjoy treats he gave them last week, wear boots he picked out, dress in police costumes because he was their hero, and sing songs made up on the spot about him.

Seconds later they have moved on. Tonight it was the game of making a “baby bunk bed” and she played right along with them.

After Paul wrote this kind- three sentence apology letter to his teacher about the pony he took in secret. We are putting one foot in front of the other and stepping bravely forward.

is one of the many phrases I have heard repeated over the last couple days to describe my Ji’chan.

He was the one I can say without a doubt found his true love.

He grew up in the Central Valley, joined the military and survived the Japanese Internment of World War II. I learned these stories first hand, almost 22 years ago

when I sat down in my backyard to interview him for a school project. I had no idea then, the stories that would be revealed.

He was the one who Joe approached to ask for a blessing in our marriage and less than a year later, he was the one who walked me down the aisle.

He was the one who continued on after my Ba’chan passed away.

Proving us all wrong. Although his heart ached every day for her, he found joy in life and made sure to take care of those around him.

He was the one I named my first born after. Doubtless Joe or I could find a more worthy honor for our son.

He was the one who was few on words but great in action. He loved with such consistency, thoughtfulness, and fullness.

He was the one who went to his volunteer job last Thursday, like he has done for years, and after coming home, while taking a nap, departed in peace.

He will be missed by many.

We are approaching finals for Joe, being generally busy, and discovering Paul has a growing interest in painting.

He also has a papa who when asked to make a ninja turtle sash to carry his sword, he can instantly have one created, and he will wear it all day long (it’s a sock and some felt, really!)

We gravitate toward one another so that as I cook dinner the kitchen becomes a lively sound of playing at the table.

Once in awhile I give in and we have a picnic dinner on the kitchen floor.

The boys like the idea of eating with baby, rather than having her be in a chair.

She is endlessly entertaining with her silliness like “hey, check out my legs”

or the casual “I can stand now” pose that passes before I can snag a clear photo.

She knows she is dolland will make raspberry sounds on her tummy which cracks herself up.

She will also climb onto the same chair as her brothers did at her age and jibber jabber to no one in particular, but as soon as  a stranger or neighbor appears and talks back to her, she clams up.

She has marker fingers

and a look that forces me to put down the camera and embrace her before these days slip away.

I am signing off for the next few days because this little pumpkin and I are headed to Portland.

Today was a chance to hang out with cousin- Miss Fiona and enjoy an afternoon of busy babies (in tribute to one of Olivine’s favorite picture books these days- Busy Bunnies).

They shared food and splashed in the water.

stood on the step and made faces.

 slurped up some dessert.

watched big boys swing

and squeal

from the safety of the giant trampoline

until there was a joy ride around the backyard

a bit too fast for momma to watch.

pointed at the kitty with mini legs.

We closed the day out with a double bath for double babies

and everyone fell asleep on the car ride home from having too much fun.