The longer I am a mother the more aware I am of my friends and their parenting styles. I am fascinated, in fact. I have a group of friends with only one baby (Angela, Nicole, Jen, Melissa, Stephanie,). Then there is Julie, she has twins with all of its own adventure and drama. I am drawn to listen to families with three (Pilar and Tammy) and pick up on any advice or tips. I also still have a soft spot for huge families. I look back at my own mom and what she chose to emphasize or value as she raised my sister and I. At fourteen months apart the pair of us were compared and held to different standards at times.

These thoughts are swirling through my mind after spending an afternoon with my dear friend Jen from Minneapolis. My roommate in France.  A former vegan and  fellow So. Cal. girl who traveled north for the sights and sounds of the city during college. She is a mom of a sweet boy named Alton.

I heard a little of her thinking about constructive and specific praise for her son (tons to consider). I watched her ask questions and move at a different pace than I do with my own kids (Joe even carries a whistle he likes to blow). I listened to her describe her boy’s interests in elevators and the library. I tried to imagine their train trips to the Mall of America.

I caught myself feeling jealous of all her free time and then feeling incredibly sad about returning to work next week. I found myself saying good-bye too suddenly at the Farmer’s Market and wishing I had asked more questions or that we somehow lived closer. In an instant I snapped into being so thankful they stayed as long as they did (park, lunch, nap, Nature Center, and Farmer’s Market). The entire range of emotions one can feel in a friendship that has spanned many years and cities and phases. I am thrilled she still makes time to squeeze me in when she heads west to see family. Makes me feel like family.I look forward to the next stage of our friendship and parenting. We are two very different and yet very similar ladies. Jen is hilarious, likes poetry, confessed to reading the Hobbit, convinced me to purchase yogurt today, and can relate to all the anxiety over my appointment tomorrow. We are like those color mixings where she is yellow and I am blue but together we make green.

Our little friend turned three and had a baseball party in Seal Beach on Sunday.Joe ended up pitching a bunch as the kids took turns running crazy style around the bases.They were all smilesto just “play ball”and hang out as buddies.Meanwhile Olivine found ways  to make friends.  She was given a phone to play with and so she snapped a ton of pictures. Tammy, my baby wants to be adopted by your mom. She even kissed her good-bye.Another mom made her this flower necklace and of course her own papa let her use use his camera. This meant I had to pose a bunch while she tried to hold the camera straight.My favorite (there were a ton to delete) was this self-portrait of her toes.

So my family has baseball fever and luckily we have tickets to that Angels game later this month.

A morning of park playat Whaleyearly enough to avoid the humidityWe brought along balls and
bats forkeeping little ones active.
In the afternoon we had snack
and naps and drawing.
for recharging
A Saturday that I distinctly notice will disappear in a couple weeks when I start back up with teaching in the morning.
I even sat through Up. Everyone warned me about sad parts, but they didn’t prepare me for the stinging in my chest. My kids were looking at me with worry. I hate the idea and it feels like a weight on my chest that one day I could loose Joe or he would loose me. What would I do? And this is an animated kid’s movie. It didn’t ruin my lovely Saturday, but I want to sleep tired after that kind of heart ache.

A full day that I use a couple standard measures to gage the success of with little ones. They had their friends over. They played on bikes until sweaty with no arguing. They tree climbed, transplanted caterpillars into trees for safe keeping, watched beetles, and cracked jokes.
Then we headed to the beach and I could ignore the screaming at the tops of their lungs. I hardly had to say anything at all. They had all the freedom they could want while I daydreamed and listened and soaked in some sun.Later, there was fearless reaching for wild  moonjellies in the lagoon. It was post-lunch and beach clean up, so they stripped down to undies.
It was a double dose of water play. They even found a fish skeleton to poke at.And then an evening topped off with tummies full from a sushi party. 
Family style, reach for your fillings, and maybe some shitake mushrooms never made it to the roll, but instead detoured to my lips, chaotic “free for all” type of dinner I relish.I would live like this year round if I could.

We have been trying to eat vegan more often these days. Not for any particular reason except that Joe and I were vegan for so long. I am in a phase of reminding myself that dairy isn’t necessary all the time.

While in Portland, one of the many take aways from my trip, highly recommended so I came home and checked out the cookbook: Isa Does It. This is her latest cookbook (I already own two) and luckily the library had a copy.

I am definitely in love with the puffy pillow pancakes (her name for them that is completely accurate) that I altered by adding dark chocolate chips to.Her curried peanut sauce bowl with tofu. This feels like the mixing of sweet and spicy that is mine and Joe’s palates complimenting one another.She is a brunch fan (as am I) and so her chipotle sausage hash is another versatile dish. I love cilantro and avocado as a topping.

I love the colorful pages and “notes” she provides that almost feel like she is talking to me. No fancy terms or assuming within cooking steps. I love the straight forward steps and time estimates for “total time” and “active time.”

A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Friends came back from New Mexico and my kids couldn’t wait to see them.
Their teeth are missing in reverse. They both look like pumpkins.
A love of noodles made dinner easy, followed by a movie.We know the school year will get busy so hopefully we will cram in as much late night, extended play time, food for many, and low budget gatherings as possible. I hope you will call, come by, or meet us somewhere because we still have a few more weeks of summer vacation.

Joe and I recognize the need for “a place for eveyrthing” and easily start shoving or piling which leads to chaos quickly.

My friend Jenny gave me a website (iheartorganizing) and of all the ideas I really liked her cord organizer. So we dumped the cordsand with an empty box (6 dollars at Target) we made cardboard dividers and covered them in paper. By the end we had sorted and used our label maker to help:I am looking forward to the saved headaches and avoided arguments by this simple idea. We did this in one night, together, and are ready for more.

Fiona turned two and had a mermaid party. Olivine wore a special dress up outfit:
I made some snacks
the Jello had a strange consistency. I never made it before, but I thought it would be easy. Guess, I should practice more.Jessica had plenty of sea themed snacksand treats (white chocolate on top-yum!)The best piece on the table had to be this amazing fruit bowl Uncle Chris carved:
Jessica had a treasure hunt for the kids.
 She had big kids hide eggs and little kids go hunt. There was a giant egg that Henry found.

Mustaches were one of the prizes inside:Huge hit! More than enough food (I took some extras), a slip-n-slide (that I didn’t snap photos of), a ton of mermaid presents, and did I mention that Jessica is having a baby next month. So she should have been pooped. I also feel lucky that I can call them family.

Olivine likes to point out how long her legs are or remind you that she is not so heavy when wanting to be carried. We hardly take her stroller anywhere, she is wearing underwear all day, and not wanting to sit in a booster or highchair ever (because her brothers don’t). There are many times a day I hear “me- big girl!” Today it was because she wanted to go to swim class (for threes and up), kick the soccer ball (couldn’t keep up with Henry), ride with Joe on his bike (he couldn’t find her helmet),  take a shower rather than a bath (I gave her a bath), and climbing out of her crib three times without help. We can hardly keep up is what I am trying to say.

Honest confession: I don’t want to keep up. This last of my babes has sprouted much faster than the others. I want a baby to hold and cuddle and carry in a sling. I am having difficult recognizing the family with three kids. Didn’t I always have a baby, either around or growing inside?

I can’t hold time back or reverse it. I can only find moments where I give in. Tonight was that moment. I hate the idea of her being able to climb out and run around and maybe get hurt. So rather than sleep lightly to listen for an escape, Joe quickly took the bars off and converted her crib into a bed.The boys love the “couch” and she is within reach of the floor. As I tucked her in she smiled. I told her she was a big girl with a bed just like her brothers. The need to be flexible and open to change is a challenge, but a necessary quality in parenting.